Finding Girls with VALUE

Wed, 02/09/2009

I’d love to hear your comments guys, this is just something I’m working through and thinking about today.

It’s hard to find girls with value. Not just girls who are hot, there’s plenty of those out there, I mean girls with across the board value. When I say value, I don’t mean it the same way we usually discuss it here. We usually think in terms of social value, because that’s what we’re trying to exhibit in interaction with women. Women evaluate men on social value and that’s all well and good, but we’re evaluating them in a different way.

I’ve been banging an awful lot of girls lately, and I’m sure a bunch of them would love to be my GF, but it hasn’t really been appealing to me much and I realize why. They’re not presenting me with enough total value to the point where having a serious, committed relationship with them would be an addition to my lifestyle.

I evaluate them on the following-

1. Social value: Can I take this girl out and will she be hot enough to not detract from what I’ve got going on? Will she not be a social burden? Will she be funny and smooth with my friends? Or will she embarrass me/bore me/etc.

2. Sexual value- Is she great in bed? Any special skills? Deep-throating? Threesomes? Will she bring chicks with no prodding or just be another passenger on the 3some train? Can she do it all the time? Is she whiney or does she complain in bed? does she REALIZE that she must bring sexual value into my life in order to have a chance with me? has she made an effort to understand what men are into sexually, or does she condemn natural male desires?

3. Lifestyle value- Does she have cool friends or dorky friends? Does she have some pain in the ass family members that she doesn’t know how to handle correctly? Does she have a cool job, cool interests, and cool dreams? Or is she a prisoner of her life, stuck in the 9to5?

4. Emotional value- Is she needy or secure? Does she contribute positive emotions or is she a black hole of negative emotional energy? Does she inspire me by knowing new things I’ve never thought of before?

Wow sure sounds like a lot to ask, huh? But it becomes an issue when you’ve put many years of work into improving yourself; you end up eventually….improved. I have cool stuff going on, I have my shit together. It’s so hard to find girls that can stack up to that. Most just don’t do much to improve their life. A lot of hot girls don’t get the whole thing about having value and building value, because they’ve never had to really work for anything. But then these girls want to be my GF and it’s almost like dealing with an AFC who doesn’t understand he’s getting blown out because his social value is too low. I’m not complaining here…because I’m more than happy to keep these hotties around as fuck buddies….but if the time comes that I become interested in something more serious it’s going to be a real difficult search I’m thinking.

I have some thoughts on filtering it. I get so many lays from cold approaches, and the girls are hot, but it’s so unfiltered in terms of other types of value. I find that a lot of times you get some slightly better filtering when you deal with these girls who have beauty jobs- like the model/actress/waitress types. I like those girls, but I’ve noticed that most of them haven’t succeeded and it’s easy to see why. They’re always lacking something and that’s why they’re waiting tables during the week still. I’d probably be better off looking for girls who have actually succeeded in one of those areas. Like there’s this one girl who’s probably got a better chance to be my GF than the rest, and she’s a pro ballerina. The fact that she’s had some level of success seems to correlate with the fact that she presents pretty high value in all of the above mentioned categories.

If anyone would like to riff on this train of thought please go right ahead. Email me at!

Brad P.