Lately, I’ve been consulting a lot of clients who are
looking to get into relationships.
They’re looking to get their lives invested with that
one special girl.
So for any of you guys who are curious about this I’ve
got something important for you to understand:
A concept called the Triangular Theory of Love.
It was developed by a guy named Robert Sternberg who is
He was pretty popular in the 80’s for his studies around
love and relationships. Basically he says that being IN
LOVE is different than love.
In order to be in love you have to have three Points of,
what he calls, the Attraction Triangle.
These points are:
1) Sexual attraction
2) Logical attraction
3) Emotional attraction.
Sexual attraction is pretty straight forward. When
you’re sexually attracted to somebody you want to sleep
When you lust after someone or feel physical desire this
is sexual attraction.
Emotional attraction is about rapport.
Logical attraction is about the actual logistics;
whether or not it makes sense for the two of you to
If a computer were to analyze this relationship and look
at it, would the computer say, “Yes, you should date,”
or, “No, you shouldn’t.”
If your lives are generally headed in the same direction
AND you live in the same area (a HUGE thing that people
will ignore that is absolutely necessary to the
triangle) this is logical attraction.
Without all three of these attractions, you aren’t
dealing with being in love.
If any point of the attraction triangle is missing then
there isn’t enough to keep you sustained and invested in
a long-term monogamous relationship.
And if it’s a long-term relationship you’re looking for,
these are the cold hard facts.
Now that you understand this and what MUST be present in
order for her to have deep feelings for you, let’s talk
about how guys typically screw it up…
The biggest mistake I see-by far-is trying to get to the
logical parts of the triangle before the emotional.
Get this: anytime you start talking about yourself, or
what you’ve done (or do) and your credentials or any of
that stuff… it’s logical. It’s an attempt to
‘convince’ her rational mind that you’re a good fit for
But guess what? Logic without emotion or sexual desire
is nearly worthless. That’s why so many nice guys wonder
why they are so great, yet can’t get the girl…
The ideal order is sexual… then emotional
(rapport/trust)… THEN logical.
She’ll be thrilled to know more about you on that level
once she has INTENSE FEELINGS-and anything positive
about you will multiply her desire and emotion.
Just never lead with logic… don’t give her your
PS – You want a foolproof coach potato way to lead with
sexual attraction every time?