I recently received an email where one of my students
asks about “rape culture” since it’s been in the media a
lot. He wanted to know about toeing the line between
pushing through last minute resistance and going too
It was a great question.
So let me address this so you guys can discern the truth
in the midst of the media hysteria and all the scare
tactics out there.
This Stanford student who has been in the news was
nailing an unconscious woman behind a dumpster, so I
think everyone reading know that it’s OBVIOUS that this
is rape and you shouldn’t be doing something like that.
But the issue gets a bit fuzzier when we look at some of
the dialogue around the incident. The media throws
around terms like “micro-aggression” and “rape culture”
to scare the hell out of people, so let’s get a few
The escalation plan taught by my coaches and me has
been, and always will be the “rinse and repeat” method.
This method contains fail-safes that will prevent you
from getting the wrong idea about whether a woman wants
to have sex, even if you’re both drunk or not thinking
straight. Here’s how it works:
Escalate her with kissing, touching, taking off
clothing, etc until she says to stop. Then you stop.
Wait 5 minutes.
During this time, keep talking, have a good time, and
give her a chance to leave if she doesn’t want to go any
further. If the woman elects to stay, try to escalate
her again. Keep going until she says stop.
Wait 5 minutes, try again.
Rinse and repeat.
Here’s the underlying psychology:
Women don’t like to directly state “I want to have sex.”
It makes them feel whorish and they prefer it to be an
What women will do is speak with their ACTIONS.
If a woman is in a sexual situation and she decides not
to leave that situation, it’s a signal that she might be
interested in having sex soon.
It’s common for a woman to be conflicted about the
decision to have sex right up until the moment of
We cannot change this fact and neither can they. It’s
just the way the female brain is built.
This is so import to remember:
It’s up to a man to take the lead and escalate so she
has the opportunity to make that last minute decision
“let’s go for it!”
It’s exciting for a woman to get all emotional and then
suddenly decide to have sex. It’s up to you to create
that opportunity for her, and she will thank you later
if you do.
Don’t let the media scare tactics affect you. When you
hear words like “micro-aggressions” and “rape culture,”
I recommend you tune those ideas out.
As seducers, it’s really not our fight to change the
world of college campuses. There are already plenty of
people working on that. A few more things to remember-
“Affirmative consent” only applies at certain college
campuses. It does not apply in actual courtrooms in the
For those of you who missed my previous newsletters on
this, the idea of it is that you cannot have sex with a
woman until she verbally states that she wants to have
This idea comes from young college kids who don’t know
anything about sex and it will never catch on in the
rest of the world.
In the real world, sexually experienced women want to
get laid and they want it to be an unspoken agreement.
So don’t worry about it, don’t let the media scare you.
If you stick with “rinse and repeat” you will never have
A woman who doesn’t want sex will leave the situation. A
woman who is horny but doesn’t want to say it aloud will
stick around and do a few more rounds of escalation.
PS – One more thing:
People who believe in this “affirmative consent” crap
are living in a dream world and have no idea how sex
They get upset when confronted with the idea that women
prefer having sex without a spoken agreement.
As seducers, it’s up to us to stay in touch with how
things work in the real world.