Seduction Mentality for the Aspiring PUA: Blow me or Blow Me Out

Wed, 28/10/2009

Let me begin by pointing out that everyone is going to get blown out at some point. I don’t care how good you are, no one can pick up every girl every time. I frequently see people who are aspiring PUAs do their thing, and it’s obvious that they’re still fearing the blowout. If you expect to be some kind of lady killer PUA zen master uber player, yet you still fear rejection and embarrassment, that’s shows you’re pretty naive about what it takes to succeed. Rejection and embarrassment are temporary conditions which go away very quickly. Being able to deal with situations that would be embarrassing to most people is a prerequisite to succeeding with women. If you’re letting little things like embarrassment and social pressure stand in your way, you probably don’t have the balls to attain massive success with women. Having balls is the #1 most important thing you need to succeed with women. If you’re trying to be a big player there will be constant challenges on every lay and you need to be able to stand up to them. CONSTANT challenges. It never really lets up. You have to get used to it.

Even if you don’t want to be a player, you just want to get a girlfriend and be happy, there will be CONTANT challenges. If you don’t have balls, your GF is going turn you into her little bitch boy. That’s just the way women are.

I hear people looking for openers and techniques that will open 100% of the time. Now this is just my opinion, but I think that can be a little counterproductive. Why? because for most guys, the search for that 100% open rate is a sign of fear. When you have fear you tend to play it safe. Women know you’re playing it safe, and they can smell fear. Not attractive.

For other guys, this 100% opening thing is a sign of EGO. It’s not about a true interaction with another person, it’s about you and your skill set. That’s not good. It’s pretty self centered and it will prevent you from being genuine.

There are all kinds of women out there. Some are compatible with you and some are not. The goal of your opener should not be to get every girl to talk to you. The goal should be this: to find out as quickly as possible whether this girl is what you’re looking for. Force the girl to show her true colors. You should be screening the girls and weeding out the incompatible ones as quickly as possible. If your purpose is to screen and evaluate the girl, that is something women pick up on. It’s very attractive. It’s a different motivation. You are not being motivated by fear of embarrassment You are not being motivated by ego or the need to prove that you can open any set. You are motivated by the confident belief that there are plenty women out whom you would click with, and it’s just a matter of feeling a few girls out until you find one.

Are you feeling like if you blow this set or get blown out, it’s going to ruin your night? Are you afraid if you blow the set 10 minutes in, you won’t be able to attract another set? That’s a really fragile way of thinking. You can not expect to succeed at this if you are truly that fragile. You need to develop a thick skin and create a set of stones for yourself.

There are 3 initial possibilities when you do an approach- attraction, blowout, or the 20 minutes go-nowhere set. Obviously attraction is the best option. But what about the other 2? Would you rather be blown out or would you rather have a 20 minute boring conversation that goes nowhere?

I’d rather get blown out. Getting blown out gives me 20 minutes of my life back. 20 minutes for me is really big. A lot can happen for me in 20 minutes. I can find a hotter girl, maybe a 3some, maybe run into an old friend. You never know. Even if I sit there doing nothing, I’ll be plotting my next move and that will still be better than the 20 minute go-nowhere set.

I know you’ve been in that set. It just won’t hook. You feel all tentative. The girl is giving you NOTHING. She’s all quiet. She’s totally boring. You stand there and plow material and get little reaction. You ask her questions and she gives one word answers. Her friends are looking at you funny. When that happens, the problem is not you, IT’S HER! Some girls are really super boring. Stay away from them.

Of course it depends what you’re looking for. Some guys like mellower girls and so you might want to develop material that causes the high energy girls to not click with you. For me, I screen for humor, intelligence, and sexual energy in the first 30 seconds. If she’s lacking any of those, I’m gone. I’m not wasting a few hours on a girl who doesn’t know how to talk, laugh, and fuck. I’m gonna figure it out right away.

To get a bit more specific, I’m opening with things that will cause the girl to blow me out if she doesn’t reach my requirements. Like horse girl, for example. A girl who isn’t smart enough to grasp the subtly is going to say “Are you saying I look like a horse?” and blow me out. A girl who has no sense of humor is going to take me totally seriously and I’m gonna have to explain it 3 times. A girl who has a wounded inner child is going to look at me all scared cause she knows she wants to fuck me but she fears the cock. Get these girls away from me!

There are so many issued up girls out there. You have to filter them out. I swear like 60% of the hot early 20s girls I meet are on some form of psychiatric medication. Go away crazy girl!

Ok so filtering out crazy girls is a bit advanced. If you’re just starting out, go ahead and do the 20 minute go nowhere sets once in a while. Maybe you’ll learn something along the way. Go ahead and talk to the Prozac girls for now, but remember what I’m saying here, because the day will come when you are not in scarcity-land anymore and you’ll become the selector.

Now, let’s talk about the right way to blow out and have it work to your advantage.

DO NOT: Get all upset and walk away with your tail between your legs.

DO: Treat like a normal thing, where the girls did you a favor and saved you some time.

What most guys do is get embarrassed. Then everyone sees that and it plunges your value in the venue. Then you venue change and the cycle begins again. This is not necessary. Embarrassment is a choice.

Remember, from a few feet away, a blowout doesn’t really look like much. All it looks like is people who know each other talking, then one or both turn their attention to something else. So here’s a few things you can do when it happens so you prevent that plunge in value.

1. Don’t push. When they say “Nice meeting you” or whatever. Just say “Nice meeting you too.” Then stay right where you are. Just turn your back on them and turn your attention elsewhere. You don’t have to walk away. Just stay positive and relaxed. Maybe take the chair next to them and face away. Check the room for your next set. To any bystanders, this just looks like you were done talking. It doesn’t look like rejection.

2. Plow and try to save the set. If the girls get hyped up and you can stay in the saddle for a bit, sometimes just showing that much courage creates attraction.

3. Do not even stop to think. Just turn directly to your right and immediately open the next girls you see with the exact same line you were just using. This prevents you from starting a cycle of negative thoughts. Most of the time the same line works fine on the next set of girls. That proves that the problem wasn’t you and you don’t even have to break stride. This is something even newbies can do. It’s really easy.

Some would consider this all an issue of inner game. To me, inner game is created by consistent action. That’s why I’m telling your specifically what do do and how to behave in the situation. Your inner game will become consistent with your behavior as the behavior becomes habitual.

In the end, this is how I look at it: The goal is not to open every set. The goal is to get laid. If I get blown out 9 times and then get laid, it’s a successful night. The best way to get laid is to screen girls, open with high impact material, and let the boring girls filter themselves out. I fully expect to get blown out 20% of my sets, and if I am not getting that, I take it as an indication that I’m not gaming hard enough. I’m playing it too safe. Any of you who end up sarging with me or learning from me will watch me get blown out and I’m not ashamed. The flipside is that the girls who don’t blow me out usually get massively attracted in the first 30 seconds. I’ll take those odds. I’ll take 80% attracted over 100% opened but not attracted.

The nice thing about this is you can get a strong sexual response very quickly, and this often leads to some really fast lays. I like that. That’s why I always say- BLOW ME OR BLOW ME OUT! I really don’t care if I get blown out. One of my natural friends The Pheromone Kid always told me- “There’s probably another girl who looks just like her right down the block.”

I’m just not into the idle chit chat about guys in pleated pants vs. non-pleated pants. That stuff is cool for those who are just starting out, and props to the guys who came up with it back in the day, but there comes a time to push yourself and go for what you really want. A time to leave embarrassment behind forever. That’s when you know you’ve really got some balls and you’re really going to succeed with your goals.

I don’t expect everyone to agree with this methodology, but I hope it makes a positive contribution to your game.

Pickup in Mainstream Media?

Sun, 04/10/2009


I’ve passed on quite a few news specials, documentaries, reality TV offers, etc.

Now there’s a new crop of people trying to push the seduction world into the mainstream I guess, cause I’m being offered this kind of stuff all over again.

I guess the word “Underground” in Underground Dating Seminar, which is my company name, doesn’t get the point across enough that I won’t do TV or any mainstream media.

Last week a photographer from Cosmo tried to take my picture when I wasn’t looking, and another reality TV type also filmed me without my knowledge.

When I tell people “no,” they always want to know “why? why? why?”

In a recent email after I told this documentary guy no, he says: “I understand. I’d still be curious as to why you like to keep PU low key. As I’m writing the film, I’m trying to understand the different PUA’s and their thoughts and objectives. The fact that you don’t want it to distribute is interesting, since most of the PUA businesses want the attention.”

Of course Im not gonna write him back cause I don’t want to help him make his film more interesting. Not that it matters, the public’s interest in PU is so low that I bet less than 100 people will ever see the film.

To me there’s so many reasons why this is a bad idea.

#1- Mainstream exposure does not benefit the students.

I was invited into the seduction community by the students, and I am here as a guest and servant of the students. The media exposure benefits the media, and the owners of PU businesses, but offers zero benefit for the students. Generally, the students are guys who already have issues, who haven’t gotten laid in a long time, they have tons of irrational fears, and the fear of being “caught using a pickup line” is something that should not be added to the already huge pile of fears. The trade off, increase in business revenue vs. making the student’s life harder, is not worth it. I’m not gonna be the guy to throw one more irrational fear on them.

#2- The public doesn’t care.

The public has a very low level of interest in the seduction community. People over-estimate it all the time. Almost everyone who’s ever pitched me thinks they’re doing something revolutionary. They’re not. Even with all the things love systems, style, and venusian arts has done, it’s barely even a tiny ripple on the radar. The public generally does not care.

#3- Anytime you hand over your message to an entertainment medium, they will change it completely to increase it’s entertainment value, which will generally lower it’s educational value.

Once you put it on the news, you lose the entire point of the whole thing. The purpose goes from “change your life” to “hmm thats interesting, what’s on next?” And thats the best case scenario. In other cases they will use creative editing to completely change the meaning of anything you say.

#4- I’m not doing entertainment.

Entertainment is not self help. They are 2 different things. Once you start trying to do entertainment, you lose your focus, and you lose the ability to help people to some extent. Entertainment is a total focus-killer for a guy like me, who has been lucky enough to be blessed with game, communication skills, and most of all, teaching skills. Entertainment and self help are diametrically opposed in my opinion. When you’re seeking entertainment or being entertained, you will not improve your life one bit. When you are working on improving your life, you probably won’t be very entertained.

There’s some students out there who can only be helped by me. I’ve built players out of guys when every other coach and method has failed them. Who’s going to help those guys if Im focusing on entertainment?

#5- I don’t want to be famous.

I know plenty of famous people and I can tell you it’s totally over-rated. It’s a total drag, but I hear the money is nice. Some people try to get famous to get more pussy. Well I can already get more pussy that I can even handle, so whats the point? For me, my quality of life is so extremely high that fame would probably only bring it lower.

#6- The myth of show business.

People act like when you make it in show biz, your life is automatically awesome. You’ll have money and pussy forever. 1 news special means you’re set for life!!! It’s so far from true. Everyone I know who’s done a reality TV show type thing has had a way different experience.

For some, they spend 2-3 years of their life and every penny they have trying to get their show on. It goes into a pool of 28 pilots, then a network picks 2 to go on the air. You don’t get picked, you don’t get all your money and 2 years of your life back. It’s just a massive waste of time and money, MASSIVE!

As for the people who actually get on, the girl I used to date who was on reality TV sank into a massive depression after it was over. The producers manipulated her like crazy, and they kept her sequestered in a secret location for weeks and weeks after the show to keep everything a secret. Of course she had already signed off on all that to get on. With the kind of stuff they have you sign, they can do pretty much anything they want to you.

Now that’s not the way for everyone, but it varies, and it goes to show that it’s not all peaches and cream. I could see if it was your lifelong dream to be on TV, but for me teaching PU already is the dream.

This is all just my opinion, and I’m not trying to criticize anyone who’s done mainstream exposure. I can understand why they do it, it just seems pretty pointless to me.

The point of this post is for me to ask you, do you really want pickup to be all over the media? Do you feel that would benefit you at all??

I feel that students generally don’t like the idea, but PU business owners just frame control them into accepting it.

You tell me? Do you like the idea or not?


You are RUINING your Chances with Women

Fri, 18/09/2009

Hey here’s a common problem I see among newbies and some background and corrections on it.

Lot’s of people come into this and they want to use opinion openers, cause they’re easy and you won’t get blown. OK fine. There are way better ways to open, but I know opinion openers are popular so let’s just go with that for now.

Now here’s what I see- the guy walks up to the girl and delivers the opener in the exact same voice you would use to ask a store clerk “What aisle is the peanut butter in?” The voice tone is super polite, boring, it tells the other person “i don’t want to interrupt you or waste your time” and hence communicates very low value. Listen to yourself talk, are you using the same type of vibe you would use if you were speaking to a store clerk? Many people do this in the beginning so here’s some help on that.

The reasons for this are:
1. Approach anxiety
2. Inside, they don’t believe that they deserve to be in a conversation with that woman. If you don’t believe you are worthy of conversation and flirting, it comes across in everything you do.

SO…’s some tips to fix it-
Do whatever it takes to convince yourself that you have enough worth to be flirting with women all the time. Success breeds success, so start flirting and don’t stop!

AND when you deliver an opinion opener, keep these things in mind-
slow down. don’t rush it. be calm.
Build anticipation by saying “Ok let me ask you a question…..PAUSE/EYE CONTACT/BUILD SOCIAL TENSION…’s a really important question.”
Stay away from storeclerk tone, it’s an approval seeking tone.
Talk to that person like you know them already. That communicates comfort.
Keep your voice deep enough. One of the main characteristics of storeclerk tone is at the end of all your sentences your pitch goes UP UP UP!
SELL IT. Make it seem like it is something that JUST occured to you. This is what actors do. Michael J. Fox was the master of this in the 80s. Everything he said seemed like it just came to him that second, that’s why he was so believable. Be like Michael J. Fox.

Here’s a nice shiny new opinion opener from me to you. This is tested by me and by a newbie as well.

Oprah Winfrey Opener

OK, let me ask you guys a question. It’s a really important question. Do you think Oprah Winfrey is hot?

Cause my friend has this crush on Oprah, and something is just not right about the whole thing. He’s 25 and she’s a chubby middle age woman. I’m thinking maybe he likes her for her money. I mean she does have a lot of money. Would you sleep with a fat black chick for a million dollars? How about ten thousand? What if she just wanted to cuddle? Would you cuddle Oprah for 10 grand?

– Brad P.