Jon Sinn on Escalation...
Today I'm posting a special "guest blog" from my friend Sinn. I like this article because Sinn makes a good point about esclating. If you're not moving forward with escalation, you're not even in the game. There's people who say "just be social and have fun, and you will get laid." This is utter bullshit. Learning to "just be social" is a good start for beginners, and it's an important building block, but it will not get you laid if you do not escalate and move things forward. Thanks for checking out Sinn's article!
I’m Jon Sinn of Sinns of Attraction. Brad and I were recently talking about rapid escalation and he asked me to share an idea of mine I call “changing gears” with you today. This tactic is really going to help you get more women into your bed fast!
Having taught literally thousands of guys to meet, attract and seduce women, I can tell you that the number one problem guys have is learning how to escalate an interaction with a woman so that it gets physical fast. In this guest article, I’m going to teach you how to escalate with women fast so that the interaction ends up in your bedroom.
The first thing you need to understand is what escalation is. Escalation is anything that moves the interaction towards sex. That sounds complicated, but in reality, you can only escalate in one of three ways:
Physically (Touching her)
Verbally (What you say)
Logistically (Moving her around)
The purpose of this article is to really teach you how to escalate all three of these factors (physical, verbal, logistical) as quickly as possible so that you stop having nice guy conversations and start getting laid.
Escalation is really one of the most important concepts when it comes to meeting, attracting, and seducing women, because if you’re not escalating, you’re not doing anything. It’s great to be social and have conversations, but if you’re actually trying to get results with women, you need to escalate or you’re not going to get anywhere.
I like to think of this as a car analogy. Rapid escalation is a lot like driving a car through a traffic-laden commute. You need to know when to accelerate and when to slow down to avoid a wreck. In a commute, you can’t just pound on the gas. Sometimes there are cars in front of you, and even if you are not a pussy and you slam the accelerator down, you’re not going to get anywhere and you’re just going to slam into the car in front of you and wreck your car or wreck the interaction.
Here’s where the concept of changing gears comes into play.
In pickup, the accelerator is escalation. When you escalate, things go faster and faster, but you also lose a little bit of control. When you escalate, you’re not playing it safe, so there’s a chance that you could go too far too fast and the girl could get uncomfortable and the interaction could be over, the girl could get creeped out, the girl could decide that she has a boyfriend, the girl could decide she’s just not interested. This is what Brad means when he says “blow me or blow me out.” The idea there is to just keep escalating until it either works or the girl tells you to “get lost”. “Blow me or blow me out” is all acceleration without the other gears.
The brake is when you release or take a step back. Ironically, sometimes we have to take a step back in order to go forward, the same way we have to break while navigating a commute, to ultimately end up where we want to be. It’s weird, but sometimes you have to slow down to go faster. Sometimes taking a step back will actually get you into that woman’s pants a lot faster than continuing to push, push, push.
Keeping this analogy in mind will help you a lot with rapid escalation, because you have to understand when to push and when to take a step back. There’s a specific time for each of those and there’s also degrees. This is why I like to think of it as changing gears.
If you’ve ever driven a car with a manual transmission, you know that there isn’t just one gear. Each gear from 1st to 5th is designed for a different driving speed. In this same way we want to think about the tools of escalation like the gears in the car. If 5th gear is dirty talking in a girl’s ear while putting your hands down her pants, 1st gear is letting her know you’re interested in her in a fun playful flirty way. We don’t want to jump from 1st gear to 5th gear, instead we want to gradually ramp the escalation up so that we gain Commitment and consistency. Commitment and consistency is one of the principles of influence from Robert Cialdini’s awesome book “Influence”. When a girl keeps agreeing to escalation, eventually the psychological principle of commitment kicks in and the girl will keep agreeing to escalation because it’s consistent with what she’s already done. This is how you get girls ripping your clothes off and begging you to fuck them.
Keep that in mind. Keep in mind that you’re changing gears as you’re accelerating. And also remember that you’re braking and accelerating, and not just pouring it on. The reason why you’re not getting laid now isn’t just that you don’t pour on acceleration and escalation. The reason you’re not getting laid now is because you don’t know when to escalate “in addition to” rather than “as opposed to”. You have to know how to escalate and when to escalate, and when to take a step back in order to really get the success with women that you want. That’s what changing gears is all about.
If you want to learn more about changing gears and learn my 4 step scientifically proven Seduction Roadmap, go to