When guys start studying dating and seduction a lot of
times they ask, “How long before I get good?”
I find this Zen story to be a great illustration to
answer this question:
There is a story about a young man in Japan who wanted
to be the greatest martial artist of the land. He
thought that to reach this goal, he must study with the
best instructor, who lived many miles away.
One day he left home to go study with this great Zen
“What do you wish to learn from me?” the master asked.
“I want you to teach me your art and help me become one
of the best martial artists in the country,” the young
man replied. “How long must I study?”
“Ten years at least,” the master answered.
The guy thought, ten years is a lot of time. I want to
get this done sooner than that. I don’t have that much
time. Certainly if I try harder I can complete this task
So he asked the master, “What if I studied twice as hard
as everyone else? How long would it take then?”
“Then it would take twenty years,” replied the master.
The guy thought, ‘That’s even longer! I don’t want to
spend twenty years learning something. I’ve got other
things to do with my life. Certainly if I tried really
hard I could learn it much quicker’.
So the student asked again, “What if I practiced day and
night with all my effort, then how long would it take?”
“Thirty years,” was the master’s response.
The young student became confused and wondered why the
master kept telling him it would take longer.
He asked the master “How is it that each time I say I
will work harder, you tell me that it will take longer?”
“The answer is simple. With one eye focused on your
destination, there is only one eye left with which to
find the way,” the master said.
Any endeavor takes effort, but it also takes patience.
If we have one without the other, we get off balance.
With only effort, we try and try but get frustrated when
we do not see results as fast as we would like. Or we
get burned out and tired very quickly.
With only patience and no effort, we never really put
our full attention to a task. We never give it the
commitment we need.
This is why 30/30 Club was created. It gives guys the
support and resources to put forth the effort steadily for a
few months and get really, really, good.