It seems that we’re always being taught to be good
If you look at all the typical relationship advice, one
of the top pieces of advice given to men is be a good
If you take a Dale Carnegie course on effective
communication, you find that people want to be heard.
And usually in business and in personal relationships,
making a person feel heard helps you get what you want
Listening is generally considered a really important
When it comes to women and making them feel comfortable,
it’s usually conserved a SUPER-IMPORTANT skill.
So why then do I tell you to do most of the talking when
you approach women?
It’s counter-intuitive. Aren’t you supposed to be
making her feel heard?
I’m going to go into this today because I was just
talking to a client and he said he felt like he was
doing it wrong because he feels like he was doing most
of the talking during his interactions.
Actually, he was doing it RIGHT.
I had to give him a refresher on the 90/10 rule.
The 90/10 rule means that YOU are talking 90% of the
time and the girl is talking 10% of the time.
If that ratio is occurring early on in your approaches
you are doing GREAT.
If she is talking less than 10% of the time, that’s not
good cause it’s like you’re lecturing her.
The reason this goes against conventional logic is that
most women are shy and caught off guard when you
approach them from out of the blue.
They’re shy when dudes approach. It’s up to you to lead
Sometimes they don’t talk at all, so you have to ask a
question, or get her to agree with something just to get
her to hold up her 10%.
So the bottom line is…
…As long as she’s still standing there listening and
doesn’t walk away, chances are you’re doing fine.
You couldn’t spark massive attraction if SHE were doing
all the talking.
So that’s the 90/10 rule: You talk 90% of the time; she
talks 10% of the time.
If you want to find everything you need to always know
what to say, check out this short video I put together
and then take some action on it.
Let me know how you do!