Hey it’s Brad,
When I was in high school, I had this basketball coach
who was a history buff. He was always giving us quotes
from famous people throughout history, to motivate us to
get out and be aggressive.
One of his favorites, and he said it often, came from
Famous American World War II General, George S. Patton:
“When in doubt, attack.”
If we were timid, If we didn’t go for the ball, didn’t
defend, or failed to take the shot, that’s what we
Why do I mention this now?
I’ve been having more discussions lately with guys who
aren’t approaching women because it’s not the right
If a girl is sitting two tables away in the coffee shop
but has on headphones. Should you approach?
How about if she is walking quickly on the sidewalk and
appears to be in a hurry. Should you approach?
How about if she’s walking into the burger shack while
you’re on your way out. Should you go back inside to
Hint: The answer is always YES.
When in doubt, attack.
The above scenarios aren’t ideal, but I can tell you
that you can always make the excuse that there is a
“better time” to approach a girl.
You can always be in a better mood, you can be more
“on,” the environment could be quieter, or your clothing
could be more presentable.
What’s more important than picking the right time to
talk to a girl is simply TALKING TO THE GIRL.
If you sit there thinking about if you should talk to
her, and then end up not even trying, then it didn’t
really matter, did it?
What a waste.
Understand: there is a difference between the “best”
time to approach (Which is like a mythical Unicorn) and
true genuine “opportunity”.
If you see an opportunity with a girl who is going to
the bathroom and you’re standing in her path, then you
should open your mouth and say something, because you
probably not get a better shot before the day is out.
When in doubt, attack.
Besides, if there was a place where the best situation
always happened and girls were extremely approachable,
it’d get filled with guys pretty quickly, turn into a
sausage fest, and stop being the “best” place.
As long as you open your mouth and say something, you’re
Approaching really is the hardest part of the game, and
the more you THINK about approaching, the less you’ll DO
Accept that this approach you’ll about to make is not
the best-case scenario and do it anyway. If winners
waited for the best-case scenario, they’d never win.
Take advantage of all the opportunities you see and let
a percentage of them work out for you. It’s as much
mathematics as it is skill.
Most guys have never approached a girl in their lives.
And that’s unfortunate. It’s also one of the top issues
that I need to remedy in men that come to me for
What I did over the years is develop an easy set of
exercises that are really fun to do and they, very
gradually, get a guy completely over any social anxiety
that he may have.
By having you do little fun assignments you have little
epiphanies along the way, that people are basically
good, and it’s fun to talk to them.
And if you can take that energy into an interaction with
a woman, you’re golden.